Caliland

Why on earth I didn’t have an internet presence before now? All I can say is, it’s not my fault. Really nothing is my fault, and that’s one of the great things about being me! I look guilty sometimes, but it’s an act. That look just means I feel bad because I’m being scolded. Normally I have no idea what the scolding is about. I figure you are trying to teach me something, but I’m focused on teaching YOU something. Most of the time I’m teaching you about throwing the ball. You are getting better at it. Practice makes perfect. I’ve noticed that things go more quickly if I occasionally let you have the ball.

NEW!!! NAME KITTY!!!

KNOWN UNKNOWNS

If anyone knows what this is (below) please send a comprehensible explanation through the comments section.

BARKING

It’s not that difficult to understand barking. Put in a little elbow grease and you’ll get it.

I have to admit that for the first few days I was here (Wherever I Am) I hardly barked at all. That was mostly because my Real Mom™ was Somewhere Else, and These People (they are somewhat familiar to me) are not my job. Meaning, if someone walks by and just happens to be a marauder, well too bad, because I’m not so attached to These People that I’m going to go nuts defending them. One of my purposes in life is to bark my head off at anything that might be a threat to my Real Mom™. I was pretty que sera sera about These People. Except that today (3/7/22) I did get a bit edgy when someone thought about walking past Wherever I Am. I guess I’m starting to feel sort of protective about These People.

But back to the Subject of Barking. It’s a great way to let off steam. Why People and Some Dogs are so discouraging about it is mystery. I do it very politely, and sometimes for no good reason.

SLEEPING

As most of my fans know, I enjoy sleeping in the bed with humans. These People seem to prefer that I sleep on the couch on a heating pad turned down very low with a bunch of blankets about – and that is actually not half bad. It is freeing to be on the couch as I am at liberty to wake up at strategic moments and do a little barking at whomever dares to even think about walking past Wherever I Am.

NAPPING

This may come as a surprise, but I do a remarkable amount of napping, particularly if there is a heating pad available. During the naps, I store up my energy for ball-throwing games and barking.

EATING

I eat four Rice Crispies® in the morning, and four more at night. (I’ve slightly exaggerated that last statement for sympathy-garnering purposes.) My interest in crumbs on the floor is high. Occasionally I get to lick plates from which humans have eaten — I know — RISKY BEHAVIOR. Honestly most of the plates are “happy plates,” meaning nothing is on them. I just do it to humor the humans involved.

WARMTH – ADVICE FOR PETS

It’s cold. It’s cold in winter (obviously) and for mysterious reasons, it’s also awfully cold inside when it’s the least bit warm outside. Here’s a pro tip to combat cold: Often People wear two shirts. Insert yourself between the two shirts, and voila! You’ll be warm in no time! You must insist that the Person Involved remain seated and stationary while you are between the two shirts, otherwise you might come out into the cold.